the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How does one acquire holy water?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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