Ambien. No doubt about it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
