North Korea, Best Korea!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
