So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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