You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
