Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
