from now on my penis is your penis
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
