Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
