just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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