you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
