I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
