I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
