somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
