god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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