Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
