Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
