My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
