So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
