We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
