Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
