walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
