you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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