I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
