i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
