i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
