K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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