planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize