What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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