I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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