Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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