Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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