yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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