I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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