Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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