What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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