She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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