nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
