you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
