Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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