I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
