Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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