If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
