member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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