Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
