No stitches, just platelets and will power
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
