watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize