I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize