I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
