Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
