Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
