i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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