oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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