pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
