Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
