Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
