I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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