was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
