If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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