It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
